Archive for October, 2008

Chloe and Kim Kardashian bikini

If Cher and a tranny had love children, they would come out like the ugly Kardashian sisters. Kim Kardashian and Chloe Kardashian are not hot, not sexy, not attractive. The only reason they attract guys is because they are fake celebrities loaded with cash for being media whores and, well, I guess it pays to be a tranny in a bikini picture.

Hey Kim, who did your tuck job? It looks great! Flat as a wall!

They sure are some ugly looking womens.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie to divorce

Madonna and Guy Ritchie to divorce after 8 married years. What do two rich people do in regards to divorce settlement and custody of children?

The couple is reportedly worth $525 million, which is $525 million more than me, and most of that fortune is Madonna’s.

Are we taking bets as to wether this ends in out of court settlement, or in court theivery?

Eva Longoria gained weight; still cute.

Eva Longoria gained a few pounds. Is it for Desperate Housewives? Is it because she’s married to Tony Parker and he wants her to have a bigger booty?

Is it because she wants to look like a Sandra Bullock knock off?

She was hot before, but I think her extra 5 pounds places her in the cute category.

She’ll have to pose nude for celeb craze before we’re able to make a legitimate opinion.

And on top of that, welcome to another article about crap we don’t care about! WooT! Photo from Allure.

Maureen McCormick loves the drugs.

What do we have here? Oh, a lovely story about another celebrity wrapped up in a world of drugs. Maureen McCormick, better known as Marcia Brady from the Brady Bunch, lived a life of drug addiction after Brady Bunch stopped filming new episodes.

This information is disclosed in her newly released memoir “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice,” along with other nifty information about her love life like dates with celebrities such as Michael Jackson (ew gross), and hanging out at the Playboy Mansion.

I’m sorry, but I can’t picture Marcia Brady naked…maybe a drug addicted teen like Jesse from Saved by the Bell.

Misty May Treanor out of Dancing with the Stars

Misty May Treanor apparently has an injury and cannot continue on Dancing with the Stars. To no surprise, I feel that is in Misty May’s best interest as Dancing with the Stars is more like Dancing with the Washups, and only people who can’t find a real acting job join the show in desperation for a last second attempt at stardom and some easy money.

In respect to Misty May, and lack of interest for Dancing with the Stars (has beens), I decided a picture of Misty Mays ass better suits the interest of the general public and fans of Misty May.

We all know watching Olympic women’s volleyball is more entertaining than watching has beens prance around in gay erotica costumes.

Jennifer Love Hewitt looks better skinny.

Did you know that at one point she was very curvy and, well, in my opinion, a lardass? It’s true. Google her fat images if you care enough to ruin your mental imagery of her.

But she’s lost those curves via shedding 18 pounds (probably donated it to make soap) and looks much better now.

I know…you think I’m shallow for thinking that she was fat, but that’s ok. I’m not the one with the career at risk because I ate 43 bags of Cheetoh’s for lunch.

Would you ever hire a fat Jennifer Love Hewitt? No.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is only good one way – skinny with big tits, which grants her permission to do stupid shit with her hair like in the photo above.

OJ Simpson – 61 and guilty, on three, HUT!

Dear Oj Simpson,

Why are you a douchebag? Why are you 61 years old and waiting to hear your jury’s deliberation decision for yourself and a friend, deciding wether or not you committed armed robbery and possibly kidnapping, and now face 5 to life in prison?

You’re not my football idol anymore.

UPDATE! THE FOCKER IS GUILTY!!!! OOOOOOOOH SNAP!

Photo from Getty Images.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck will take her hotness away

Rumors are swirling that Elisabeth Hasselbeck may leave the shittiest show on Earth The View. This is easily the worst damn show I’ve ever seen – four blabbermouth girls talking too much, too loud, and three of four are too ugly.

They at least dignified themselves when fat Rosie Odonnell was no longer able to fit on the stage and forced to leave.

What’s more horrible: watching The View or watching baseball?