Archive for December, 2008

Jen admits it is a chop job

Well I’m sure this doesn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone really: Hollywood is fake. The people are fake, their bodies are usually fake, and what they can’t fake with plastic surgery or botox they do with photoshop. What I like to call a chop job. So anyway back to the topic at hand… Jennifer Aniston has admitted, while she was a guest on the TV show ‘The View’, that she had been photoshopped for the now famous cover photo she did for GQ Magazine. Although she didn’t go in to much detail about it she did try to take the easy way out like some other recent celebrities…. *cough* Miley Cyrus *cough*.

So what is the easy way out, you ask? When confronted about going almost-nude for a magazine cover there is one sure way of shifting the attention elsewhere: just say you were tricked! The big bad photographer made me do it! Which is a complete load of you know what. There is not a photographer in the world crazy enough to rip off her clothes and take pictures of it, that is called a felony. So obviously she wanted to do it at the time and of course she loves the free publicity… she just doesn’t want people to call her a slut, maybe?

OMG they killed Bambi, again!

Just in case anyone out there actually likes going to see animal movies and plans on going to see ‘Marley & Me’ then consider yourself warned about spoilers here! OK so you’ll have to forgive me for playing around with the title a little here… it was actually Bambi’s mother who was killed by the hunter. Anyway, it is pretty much the same deal with this Marley movie, when all else fails: kill an animal. And lets not forget, this is supposed to be a comedy!

This has to be one of the cheapest methods that screenwriters use to provoke an emotion inside their audience… it is quite simple really and of course it has all be done before: you build up a character, usually a lovable little furry animal, you make the audience laugh along with it through the movie and then what? You kill it. Then just sit back and watch the tears flow out and the money roll in. So you see… my only real problem with this is how cheap and nasty it is compared to other movie that produce legitimate emotions.

China: is it really worth it?

Well, in a word, no. But I’m doing a blog here so one-word answers don’t really work out that well. So anyway, it seems that China is more trouble than it is worth when it comes down to movie releases. Warner Brothers has chosen not to even bother trying to get ‘Dark Knight’ past the Chinese censors because obviously they don’t think it will pass anyway. But I have a feeling that this decision wasn’t made in haste… no legitimate company wants to pass up an extra 1.3 billion potential customers, do they?!?

There were not a whole lot of reasons given by Warner Brothers for their decision, or any for that matter, but there has been speculation that the choice has something to do with the use of singers/actors from Hong Kong and even shooting some scenes for the movie there. So it is worth mentioning here: China doesn’t like Hong Kong. So, and I’m just thinking to myself here really, maybe WB thought that they’d be asked to cut some important scenes out and they just said screw it… no movie for YOU!

This is just about killing Hitler

When he isn’t busy jumping on Oprah’s couch, giving medical advice to parents, or worshipping spacemen, he also enjoys killing Hitler. Yes that is a quote from Tom Cruise… in one of his recent interviews in which he was talking about his role in the upcoming movie Valkyrie where Cruise plays Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, a man who lead a plot to kill Adolf Hitler during World War II. He made the initial statement after warning that this is not a Holocaust movie, “this is just about killing Hitler”. He also mentions that being able to entertain the audience is just a bonus… and here I was thinking that was actually his job.

You may be wondering, like I was before reading a little further in to it, how the hell is Tom Cruise finding work these days? His movies are expensive to make and, more often than not, they lose money. But here is the reason: he has bought his way in to the commanding position at movie studio United Artists who is producing Valkyrie. So think about it, are you going to tell your boss that “Nobody likes you Tom… I hope that spaceship you’re always talking about really does come and take you away”?

Did the SNL crew go too far?

As usual I will leave it up to all of you to decide on your own opinions about this, whether you have seen the skit or not, but of course that won’t stop me from making sure everyone knows what I think about it! OK so anyway I guess the main problem that some people had with this skit, shown above with Fred Armisen as NY Governor David Paterson on Saturday Night Live, is that it portrays the governor as an idiot because of his blindness. Sure it sounds like an unfair thing to do… but that didn’t stop anyone making fun of John McCain because he was old, or Sarah Palin because she sounded like a goofy chipmunk half the time.

So… is there a pattern starting to form here? Is it OK to make fun Republicans but not Democrats? I mean come on… if SNL had done a skit making fun of Obama for being black there would’ve been a whole lot of hell breaking loose because of it. So I guess that’s why I think this latest skit isn’t so bad… because you can’t just target one side of the political fence and then claim your own side to be off-limits!

Tara Reid is making promises

Yes, Tara Reid has checked herself in at what seems to be the place to go for rehab centers if you’re famous, Promises, and I’m hoping she keeps up to her end of the deal myself. You never know with these celebrities whether they are simply doing the whole rehab thing just to get their name in the news again or if they’re serious about it… so I will give her the benefit of a doubt and say good luck to her! It can’t turn out much worse than any of the other Hollywood women going in and out of rehab lately can it?!?

Some even say that Tara Reid was a ‘role model’ who Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton actually learned from, but maybe that’s just because Tara is older than them… and knows a few more party tricks I bet. I can’t even remember the last time I saw Tara actually doing anything either so she seems to have the paid-to-party lifestyle all worked out as well! We have to remember that this is not the first time she has vowed to stop doing drugs and from past experiences it may not be the last time either.

Alex and Madonna together in Mexico?

OK so it shouldn’t be that much of a secret by now that Alex Rodriguez and Madonna are a couple, or at least they would like to be, but something has been stopping them from just coming right out and saying so! There was some talk just under a week ago that they were now officially together… and why were people saying that? It is all because Alex handed Madonna a bottle of water during a concert, yes… that is all, and that is enough to get the celebrity news world all hyped up until the next bottle-giving incident!

So, back to the story at hand, the couple were seen in Mexico City last weekend although they weren’t exactly holding hands of course. Apparently they were both there on business; Madonna was doing her thing by putting on a few concerts, and Alex was there with the extremely important job of teaching kids to bat. Because after all where would those poor kids be without some super-rich baseball star showing them how to hit a ball with a stick?!?