Archive for September, 2009

The Most Disturbing Thing You’ll Ever See on Video

We’ve seen the Kim Kardashian sex tape.

We’re read a review of the Dustin Diamon Dirty Sanchez video.

We’ve watched George W. Bush try to pronounce the world “nuclear.”

But what follows is the most disturbing footage we’ve ever witnessed or heard about.

Joining random singer Zalon in a jam session, Amy Winehouse busts into a rap/incoherent set of drug-induced ramblings below. Memorable lines include:

I never knew. I never knew that I, well, I know I’m a Jew. Well, a Jewmaican anyway. If you can smoke bacon, then I reckon that I never knew Zalon was so good at drums. It kind of makes me feel more dumb.

Watch, and remember: you’ve been warned:

THIS is no longer the scariest image ever produced by Amy Winehouse. Can she sink any lower?

We shudder just thinking about it.

Fashion Face-Off: Emily Deschanel vs. Eva Longoria

Emily Deschanel plays Temperance Brennan on Bones, a world-respected forensic scientist.

In real life, though, the actress prefers to play a dangers game: going up against some of the most beautiful women on the planet in a series of Fashion Face-Offs.

In July, she took on Megan Fox.

Now, Deschanel has dared to wear the same Gustavo Cadile gown as Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria donned at this year’s ALMA Awards. Study the looks below and vote in our poll:

Who wears this dress better?

Zachory Loring: Restrained from Stalking Audrina Patridge

We hope Zachory Loring tuned in to the season premiere of The Hills this week.

Because that’s as close as this nut job will ever get to Audrina Patridge.

Following his September 16 arrest on charges of vandalism and disturbing the peace, Loring – who sent Patridge creepy photos and poems – has been barred from contacting the reality star for three years.

Yes, Audrina Patridge can be sort of cute. But that’s no excuse for stalking her!

The judge in the case just said the evidence was “quite disturbing” and added: “It’s unfortunate that people who pursue careers in the public have to deal with these people.”

In August, Mark McLeod was arrested for a similar crime. He continued to follow Miley Cyrus around, stating he was her number-one fan and soulmate.

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake: It’s Over!

When your friends label your girlfriend as “needy and annoying,” that’s never a good sign for a relationship.

Case in point: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, who insiders claim have officially broken up after weeks of speculation.

“It was [over] about a month ago,” a friend told Us Weekly, adding that Timberlake was “clearly on the hunt” during Fashion Week in NYC a couple weeks ago.

We can think of a few (million) ladies that wouldn’t mind being targeted, gunned down and carved up by this sexy singer… if you know what we mean!

As for Biel, a mutual friend says the actress is in “severe denial and won’t accept” the break-up, while another won’t write off this relationship for good, stating: “There’s no way of knowing if it’s a firm breakup, because with them it’s so hot and cold.”

Celebrity couples, after all, are known to call it quits and then call it a relationship again. Just look at Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush.

Still, if this is it for Justin and Jessica, who should he date next?

** UPDATE: An insider tells People the couple is not broken up… yet. This source said:

“Things have been a bit up in the air recently. They’ve been spending more time apart – more time with each of their friends, and they’ve been reevaluating [their relationship].”

The Hills Premieres: A Week in Review

In case you didn’t noticed, The Hills premiered on MTV this week.

As loyal celebrity gossip followers, we were stuck covering every article and quote used to hype the show’s new season, which included a few nuggets from the Satanic spawn known as Spencer Pratt.

Love the cast or hate the cast, everyone from Spencer to Kristin Cavallari was in the news this week. An aggravating, entertaining summation of their stories is below…

• First, get caught up on the season premiere with our unique plus/minus review of events from it;
• Check out Stephanie, Lo and Audrina walking the streets of L.A. while shooting this (un)reality show;
• Sit slack-jawed as you browse through the insane gobs of money each star brings in;
• Get out a tissue: Stephanie Pratt might soon say goodbye.

• Spencer, meanwhile, is saying no to sex.
• That’s the same message Kristin Cavallari sent to John Mayer when he hit on her.
• Pratt thinks Speidi is bigger than the Kardashians and on par with the Obamas.
• The entire cast posed for promotional photos that were as staged as every fight and discussion on the show itself.

While it often pains us, remember: The Hollywood Gossip is the source for The Hills. Come back everyday for the latest coverage on a group of people we love to hate.

Khloe Kardashian’s wedding scripted to the last detail

While Khloe Kardashian’s hawking the OK! Magazine wedding issue on her blog, TMZ has audio that proves pretty much every single detail of her still-not-legally-binding marriage to Lamar Odom was entirely scripted by the producers of Keeping Up with. …read full story

Courtney Love has nipples because God’s a sick bastard and hates your eyes

Here’s a clearly bra-less Courtney Love walking around SoHo yesterday, and this is pretty much on par with seeing my grandmother naked. If not worse. There’s no chance of fresh-baked cookies after this one, just tears, hyperventilating and the… …read full story

So Freaking Hot: Best of September

In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here’s a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive… …read full story