you're just stupid

Jen admits it is a chop job

Well I’m sure this doesn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone really: Hollywood is fake. The people are fake, their bodies are usually fake, and what they can’t fake with plastic surgery or botox they do with photoshop. What I like to call a chop job. So anyway back to the topic at hand… Jennifer Aniston has admitted, while she was a guest on the TV show ‘The View’, that she had been photoshopped for the now famous cover photo she did for GQ Magazine. Although she didn’t go in to much detail about it she did try to take the easy way out like some other recent celebrities…. *cough* Miley Cyrus *cough*.

So what is the easy way out, you ask? When confronted about going almost-nude for a magazine cover there is one sure way of shifting the attention elsewhere: just say you were tricked! The big bad photographer made me do it! Which is a complete load of you know what. There is not a photographer in the world crazy enough to rip off her clothes and take pictures of it, that is called a felony. So obviously she wanted to do it at the time and of course she loves the free publicity… she just doesn’t want people to call her a slut, maybe?

The botox queen of Australia

With the premiere of the movie Australia this week we can be sure of seeing a lot more of Nicole Kidman and her painful looking face… and people actually pay money to look like this. I haven’t seen the movie yet myself, it sounds like another bad chick flick if you ask me, but I’m sure a lot of money will be made from all the hype surrounding it.

But anyway I don’t need to see the movie to know that Nicole Kidman needs to relax a little on the botox, maybe try a mud bath or whatever the newest trend is for people with more dollars than sense. Does anyone actually think she looks more attractive now? I’m assuming that was her reason for getting the botox, so please… tell me her plastic looks are doing it for someone, or has she just wasted her time and money here?!? You can be the judge but I’ve already put my vote in the box.

Maureen McCormick loves the drugs.

What do we have here? Oh, a lovely story about another celebrity wrapped up in a world of drugs. Maureen McCormick, better known as Marcia Brady from the Brady Bunch, lived a life of drug addiction after Brady Bunch stopped filming new episodes.

This information is disclosed in her newly released memoir “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice,” along with other nifty information about her love life like dates with celebrities such as Michael Jackson (ew gross), and hanging out at the Playboy Mansion.

I’m sorry, but I can’t picture Marcia Brady naked…maybe a drug addicted teen like Jesse from Saved by the Bell.

OJ Simpson – 61 and guilty, on three, HUT!

Dear Oj Simpson,

Why are you a douchebag? Why are you 61 years old and waiting to hear your jury’s deliberation decision for yourself and a friend, deciding wether or not you committed armed robbery and possibly kidnapping, and now face 5 to life in prison?

You’re not my football idol anymore.

UPDATE! THE FOCKER IS GUILTY!!!! OOOOOOOOH SNAP!

Photo from Getty Images.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck will take her hotness away

Rumors are swirling that Elisabeth Hasselbeck may leave the shittiest show on Earth The View. This is easily the worst damn show I’ve ever seen – four blabbermouth girls talking too much, too loud, and three of four are too ugly.

They at least dignified themselves when fat Rosie Odonnell was no longer able to fit on the stage and forced to leave.

What’s more horrible: watching The View or watching baseball?

Clay Aiken gay? No, really?

Dear People magazine, please tell the world something they don’t already know. We knew Clay Aiken was gay the moment his face appeared the first time on American Idol. Cmon…look at him, he just looks gay! If you asked someone on the streets what they think gay people look like, they’ll say “Gay Clay Aiken.”

What I don’t spectacularly agree with is children having two gay dads and no mother. Sure, one of the gay dads might be like a woman, but no one’s mother is supposed to have a penis.

What do you think?

Dane Cook evicted, ugly, and still not funny.

Hollywood resident leatherface Dane Cook was evicted from his West Hollywood apartment for not following the buildings rules for dogs.

The case was settled and the Hollywood landlord was paid in settlement.

Unfortunately, now Dane Cook owns a 7 million dollar home in Hollywood Hills.

Even more unfortunate is the fact that Dane Cook is in a new movie. How much more torture do we have to go through!?!?!

Lindsay Lohan punched a black man!

Lindsay Lohan sucker punched a paparazzi in the nose because the ditzy freckled lesbian believed the male photographer had attempted to trip her.

No Lindsay, he didn’t trip you. You’re just a crackhead. Wait, no, I think I know what happened. You tripped on your own, but for the sake of looking more stupid than usual, you blamed it on someone else and attacked them with your lesbian fist.

Shame on you Lindsay Lohan!